- What kind of load only rises? An upload.
 - Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
 - What did the vegetable say at the party? Lettuce turnip the beet.
 - What did the tree say when the woodcutter was trying to cut it down? Leaf me alone.
 - Why didn't the computer screen break the law? It thought it was being monitored.
 - Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
 - What's the slipperiest country? Greece.
 - Why couldn't the elephant take a road trip? He couldn't fit everything in his trunk.
 - This pun could be worse. If it was on paper, it would be tearable.
 - Why did the mechanic get rid of his violent cat? He had a car pet.
 - Why couldn't he auction off his Google Pixel? The bidders thought he had a phoney phone.
 - Why was the celery afraid of being followed? He didn't want anybody to stalk him.
 - Why wouldn't the curtian make a trade indoors? He thought it was too shady.
 - What is the solution to the Cryptokitties scaling problem? Catspurr.
 - Where did the carpenter donate his wealth? Chair-ity.
 - How did the water leave the crime scene? It rain away.
 - Did you hear the joke about the penguin missing a foot? You don't want to hear it. It's pretty lame.
 - Why couldn't the baker turn his Bitcoin into a loaf of bread? It's crypt-dough.
 - Where do animal go when their tails fall off? The retail store.
 - Why can't you trust atoms? They make up everything.
 - Why couldn't Monday lift the weight? It was a week day.
 - Why don't ducks like laying eggs? Because they always quack.
 - Why couldn't the cat use his computer? He kept eating the mouse.
 - What do you call a sloth with a spear for a head? A slow poke.
 - Why was the stadium so cold? There were a lot of fans.
 - Why can't a bike stand up on it's own. It's two tired.
 - Why do shoemakers go to heaven? They have good soles.
 - Why did the baker stop making doughnuts? He got tired of the hole thing.
 - There are two problems for those writing C code: buffer overflows, memory leaks, and off-by-one errors.
 - ow long does it take for a dyslexic person to get this joke? Logn time.
 - Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? oct 31 == dec 25.
 - Why can't you trust trees? They're shady.
 - Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter? He doesn't like being followed.
 - What does a clock do when it is hungry? It goes back four seconds.
 - 6:30 is the best time hands down.
 - Why was the man rolling around in the mud? He was the punchline to a dirty joke.
 - What's the difference between the average plummer and the average bitcoin miner? The average plummer can solve a block.
 - Why did the men try to eat the Bitcoin? They had forks.
 - Why do bitcoin owners drive recklessly? Their chance of a collision is 1 in 3,675,829,765,987,568,478
 - What's the best thing about a UDP joke? It doesn't matter if you get it.
 - Why do people carry umbrellas? Umbrellas can't walk.
 - How does a tree get on a computer? It logs on! (Alternatively, it climbs on top of it.)
 - What type of blood doea this joke havr? Type O.
 - Why did the scarecrow get a raise? He was outstanding in his field.
 - How do you get over a fear of elevators? Take some steps to avoid them.
 - If a short psychic breaks out of jail, you have a small medium at large.
 - How do birds learn how to fly? They wing it.
 - I should throw a can of Sprite at you. You'll be fine, it's a soft drink.
 - Where do you take someone who has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident? To the I.C.U.
 - Why did the boy sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time.
 - Whats the leading cause for dry skin? Towels.
 - What's green and fuzzy, has four legs, and would hurt you if it fell out of a tree. A pool table.
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